stare at the sun until the warm one smiles back.
“Hey,” they say, “I’m happy to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you.”
sensitive skin all g, it’s okay, find some shade.
“I’ll stay,” they say. they will. they stay.
until another stares and finds you smiling back.
“hey,” you say, “I’m happy to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you.”
you say, you stay? sundresses and shade.
“I’ll stay,” you say. we all stay. Sunday.
because i have this feeling that everything that is the part of me screaming knows that my blood will bury it if all of these patterns turn out to be true. and if i don’t take the bullet between the eyes now i could end up asking questions that turn my insides into chains covered in rust that are heavier than anything i have ever known. there is no sense in validating any of that thing screaming because i watch its creator bury itself in liquid blood red and images of our likeness and neither are the grown bones that carry me where i go. i know what i am here to do and it is not about any of me but all things in between so go ahead and place your symbols because i have passed my fork. the road has turned to dirt and there is nothing but dry air and cracked ground and i can see far towards the bluewhite horizon that it really is there it really is forgiveness.
“Hey, why not?” urged space.
“I refuse too,” gurgled boy.
“What are you scared of?” demanded space.
“Everything, monkey-man!” barfed boy.
nothing had ever been so true. thoughts finding groups of letters.
“fuck you, pussy!” screamed space. he smacked boy in the mouth.
the knuckles of boy’s cheeks cracked. it hurt quite fondly.
“you a coward, son!” cackled boy.
space had enough. citing outrageous bravado. boy was shot dead.
“seeya, boy!” spat space.
but boy will be back.once space is alright. boy will be back.
you are not wrong to slip into the red space that is lifeless and without expression. if you do not notice the former lover who floats from the corner or the dead father that stares into nowhere you are not wrong.
ignore those who say so because they are spiders crawling over goosebumps that only feel in black and white. they have never been to the red space. they think they are not red.
you are right to do anything which includes nothing at all. maybe even fishhook lips into a smile until it sticks forever, like a red silhouette of winter air frozen by the sun.
the black and white spiders might say you smile like a clown. to that you say, thank you, thank you, thank you, black and white spider, i like my red nose. i like it very much, and you are not wrong.
“Hey Space…where are you going?”
where the road could not end. cassady they called it.
“I’m not going nowhere,” said space quite madly.
this was not new thought boy. this had to be the end.
“Good. Please don’t leave,” boy said quite sadly.
awhile passed and then boy asked again.
“Hey Space…what are you doing?”
everything was pink and white; a hungry quiet hung wet.
“nothing,” Said space real serious; real serious.
floating below was an invisible town. heavy mud down there.
“good. please be ready,” said boy like light; dim light.
everything squeeeeeeezzzzzeeeeed.
“You are nothing,” said Space like nothing.
“I know,” said boy likewise.
everything went quiet. blue, green, yellow…pink, white.
I got lost between hidden points, missing ones that weren’t placed by ink but a naked man that built the world. i was looking to stop my confusion from forever crying until the soil i’m planted beneath said it was missing my tears. while buried i drunk black water that turned bittersweet like the dark i love to be scared of. i wonder how far my voice carried from under the earth’s skin.
never mind all of that because I decided too many days crawled through weeks like years and it was time to say goodbye to everyone and the missing man. there are so many vibrant faces melting together from home where the naked man doesn’t build anything and looks through my eyes. naked and missing has to be where i’ll find the point.
Never mind all of that because the last word is running quietly feeling surfaced points that are now and stop nowhere. i don’t love any man and i never have but i will and when i do there will be nothing left but the world that i built. it is hard to imagine its pillars are not in love with me.
blink twice and whisper:
“minor differences pale in comparison
to obvious instances of good samaritans
breathing rhythms while fully ignorant
of interests different from living sentiments
so love existence indifference as the narrative.”
…
and that, is my ha ha ha.
hey black bird, hey black bird, thanks for being loud.
thanks for the choppy blue, thanks for being proud.
thanks for the great escape and wayward flight and sweet seduction,
thanks for ammunition and endless night and holy ghost presumption.
hey black bird, hey black bird, thanks for permission to say your name,
i broke my wing and i forgot to sing but was saved by the black bird game.
black bird blue, black bird green, black bird everything in between,
hey black bird, thanks for the first word, the first black bird i will bring.